All Douche Bag Team

I was bored at work today and my friend challenged me to make a line up of the biggest douche bags in baseball. I decided to one-up him and make a 25-man roster. This may not be the most loved team but it would sure win a World Series if the players were at their best. The only stipulation is that they played from 1993-on. This way I could give a fair assessment of how big of an asshole these guys really were.

Here is my roster. Please don't throw any batteries at them:

Manager: Tommy Lasorda
1B Coach: Tony LaRussa
3B Coach: Lou Pinella
Bench: Don Zimmer

Starters:
C: AJ Pierzynski
1B: Rafael Palmiero
2B: Jeff Kent
SS: Jose Reyes
3B: Alex Rodriguez
LF: Barry Bonds
CF: Milton Bradley
RF: Jose Canseco

Bench:
C: Mike Piazza
IF: Mark McGwire
IF: Alberte Belle
OF: Darryl Strawberry
OF: Gary Sheffield
OF: JD Drew

Starting Pitchers:
1: Roger Clemens
2: Brett Myers
3: Curt Schilling
4: Carlos Zambrano
5: David Wells

Relief Pitchers:
RP: John Rocker
RP: Ugueth Urbina
RP: Kyle Farnsworth
RP: Guillermo Mota
RP: Billy Wagner
CL: Francisco Rodriguez

FIM #13: The Birth of the Phillie Phanatic

He's from the Galapagos Islands. He warms our hearts. He's big, green, and furry. He resembles a character Dr. Suess would have invented. He is the Phillie Phanatic and he is by far the coolest mascot in all of professionial sports. Moment #13 is when he was introduced back in 1978. Sports Illustrated voted the Phanatic as the best mascot in all of sports only a few years ago.

Dave Raymond was the original mascot, donning the costume from 1978-1993. Tom Burgoyne currently wears the costume. Raymond invented the Mascot Hall of Fame in 2005, makin the Phanatic a charter memember. Along with the San Diego Chicken, the Phanatic has helped revolutionize the sports mascot with their silly antics and hilarious pranks.

Some of the Phanatics normal pranks include his provacative dancing and shaking his belly, his giant kiss, and the infamous "Whammy Hand" while he stands on the Phillies dug out in late innings. He also is known for his pregame antics of teasing opposing players as they warm up and riding his ATV, the first mascot to ever do so.

His most famous and proud moment has to be making Tommy Lasorda snap. In a game years ago when the Phillies were playing the Dodgers, the Phanatic hopped on his ATV and ran over a dummy wearing a Lasorda Jersey. It enraged Lasorda who actually attacked the Phanatic. People thought it was in good fun but in fact, Lasorda really hates the Phanatic. "I hate the Phillie Phanatic. That type of a display should not be shown in ballparks, especially in front of children. It exhibits violence and disrespect," said the hypocritical Lasorda who actually body slammed the lovable mascot.

He's the best mascot in all of sports bar none. It's not even being a biased fan. Ask any fan in the world who the best mascot in all of sports is and they will say the big furry green guy in Philly. Well except Mets fans of course who think their stupid baseball-headed Mr. Met is more entertaining than the Phanatic. It's hard to go to a Phillies game and not watch the Phanatic. Keep on whammying, big fella.